'cannot be earned' original painting from 'poetry f*cks'
we can’t “earn” love and we don’t “deserve” life. we simply are alive until we’re not. we love, receive, and lose love like the tides of the ocean.
this artwork was created to go with a poem in my collection 'poetry f*cks'. the poem was inspired by a passage from oscar wilde’s letter from prison, ’de profundis’. he writes:
“Society, as we have constituted it, will have no place for me, has none to offer; but nature, whose sweet rains fall on just and unjust alike, will have clefts in the rocks where I may hide, and secret valleys in whose silence I may weep undisturbed.”
through my life i’ve often felt that i don’t ”deserve” to be alive, largely because i haven’t found a job my disabled ass can do. haven’t ”earned my living”, so to speak. given that context i’m sure you understand why this quote means a lot to me.
the last line is my attempt at an oscar wilde-esque aphorism. its content was additionally inspired by a conversation i had with my mother last year. my mom is, much like me, an awesome weirdo, and a badass who doesn’t give a shit about convention. not everyone appreciates this.
she told me a story where a person in her life didn’t appreciate how amazing she is, and i went on a rant about all the reasons she is cool and wonderful. she started crying (another thing we have in common lol, just two weepy baddies trying to take care of each other).
then she said: ”i’m so grateful for your love, but i don’t feel like i deserve it.”
i replied: ”i don’t feel like i deserve your love and support either, so i guess we’re even.”
that conversation really brought home to my body what i intellectually already knew—we can’t “earn” love and we don’t “deserve” life. we simply are alive until we’re not. we love, receive, and lose love like the tides of the ocean.
this piece is on 200 GSM paper and measures 21x30 cm.
collecting a pixie original also enrolls you in the highly exclusive “pixie collectors club”! you’ll get a handmade membership card (which doubles as certificate of authenticity, to use the standard art world lingo) with a few perks.
thank you for spending time connecting with my words and my art. this is my place in the world and i’m glad to be alive in it, despite everything. ♡
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